Pros & Cons: Do I Need to Know the Gender of My Baby? (Guest Post: Susy Richards)

One of the many dilemmas a woman faces when she is expectant is the possibility to know the baby’s gender. It is actually the first ever decision that new parents are faced with. Once in the doctor’s room for one of the many ultrasound sessions, there is a burning urge to know whether it is a she or a him. Soon-to-be mothers go nuts with a lot of anticipation and excitement. Whatever decision do you make you should be united as a couple before asking: ‘Is it a boy or girl’?

Let us explore the pros of finding out the baby’s sex:

· Preparation down to last minute: It gives one a sense of direction of what to buy specifically in terms of the baby’s shopping. (Gender specific clothes, decorations). You already know what to buy in this case.

· Gift buying: It makes it easier for the close friends and relatives who want to get you gifts. They will exactly know what to buy in reference to the gender.

· Not everyone love surprises: Some ladies hate surprises and therefore no need to wait for the entire 9 months.

· Effective bonding for siblings: If you have older kids, it will be easier for them to be prepared to bond.

· Bonding for the mom: the bond between a mom and the unborn child is already established. However, finding out the gender of your baby makes it even special and stronger. If for instance, you are having a boy you can start imagining playing some football with him.

· Monogramming advantage: You can choose a name and even get gifts and other items personalized for the baby. Items like the crib sheets, nursery room decorations and diaper bags would have the baby’s name on them.

· Picking a name: Once the doctor conducted the ultrasound and indicates, it’s a boy or it’s a girl you can comfortably starting thinking of a name. This will help you not split your focus between girl or boy names. Unless you have settled on a name that will apply for either gender which might still work.

· Reduces disappointments: deep in a woman, she knows maybe I want to have a boy and she keeps this hope for almost the entire 9 months but she gets a girl. This can be quite disappointing in some way. Therefore, for most people finding out the gender via ultrasound sessions is important. This helps reduce the disappointment that the mother is not supposed to go through. However, it is a blessing either way.

Why I decided to find out my baby’s sex

Melissa says:
“Yes, I found out the gender. My husband at first wasn’t supportive of the idea since he wanted it to be a surprise. He wanted to call our parents and other relatives and surprise them with the news. I did not want to keep it as a mystery deep in me, the anxiety was growing. I will recommend that soon to be mothers and also if you planning to get a baby get to find the sex of your baby. It is an incredible feeling”.

Norah says:
“I had attended the ultrasound sessions and when the doctor was checking for the baby’s heartbeat my husband just suggested we find out the gender. I just felt overwhelmed by that feeling of finding out and I told the doctor to go ahead. We were both swept off the feet when the doctor told us it’s a girl. We had always wanted our son to have a little brother. Definitely, if I will have a baby again I will still find out the gender during ultrasound it’s a beautiful feeling”.

The cons of finding out the baby’s gender

· Creating special moments during birth: some families love that moment when the baby’s gender is revealed right during birth. The surprise element that is the baby’s gender at that particular element is heartfelt. It blows everyone away.

· Untraditional believes: Before evolvement of technology bringing forth the use of such gadgets as the convenient fetal dopplers parents had no option of finding out the sex of the baby. Many people, therefore, believe that the breaking of this traditional practice interferes with the purpose of Mother’s Nature. Thus, people tend to avoid finding out the gender for the reason that they are preserving the traditions of the grandparents or ancestors.

· Motivation: childbirth for most mothers is a painful experience and at the same time, it brings in a lot of joy to the family. Therefore, for some mothers, they would opt to keep the gender of the child until birth so as it will act as motivation to push through that process.

· Chances of a wrong ultrasound: Since machines are not 100% efficient, there is always that chance that a wrong diagnostic was made by the doctor during the checkup sessions. The entire will be prepared with for instance a whole load of a boy’s clothes, toys, and other items only to learn it is a baby girl. This will not only have financial implications but also emotionally, it will be disappointing.

Reasons why I don’t want to find the baby’s gender

Talia says:
“I didn’t want to find out the sex of my child. This is because I thought I needed some motivation to go through labor if it happens to be a lot more painful than I expected. During pregnancy what is mostly focused on was the health of the baby while in the womb”.

Etana says:
“I lost my first pregnancy and during the second one, I didn’t really care about the gender. All I wanted was the feeling of being a mother in me whether it’s a boy or a girl. I remember the doctor would place the convenient fetal Doppler on my big belly then ask ‘would like to know the gender’ I just said no, am already blessed”.

I will be honest with you, just like it is important to find out the baby’s sex during pregnancy period, it is also equally important to just find out during birth. Whatever decision you take, remember to show the same amount of love all through. It is all about having a healthy baby that’s why attending the anti-natal clinical appointments is equally important.

About The Author:  Susy Richards is a lovely mother of 3 girls (3 years, 4 years and 5) and a simple woman who is ready to share her priceless experience with other mommies around the world. She is an Advanced Practice Provider who passed birth doula and postpartum doula courses at Childbirth International in 2013. Susy is passionate about providing holistic care and is involved in pregnancy research currently publishing her articles concerning pregnancy on site

11 thoughts on “Pros & Cons: Do I Need to Know the Gender of My Baby? (Guest Post: Susy Richards)

  1. We decided to find out for both our kids, but the sonographer couldn’t see clearly enough on J’s scan so we had to wait! I can totally understand why you’d want to wait to find out on the day. Although I was convicence J was a girl, waiting to find out for sure was exciting.

  2. I found out with 5 out of 6 of my pregnancies, the only reason i didnt with the other was the hospital stopped ding it due to too many mistakes but that was 15 years ago. I enjoyed finding out and all of mine were named pre birth. I know friends who didnt find out and its been such a wonderful surprise at the birth finding out. I can see both sides as well 🙂 x

  3. I can see both sides, but I don’t think I’d care too much. Maybe the only reason I’d want to know is so I can think of the perfect name to fall in love with and get used to.

  4. I didn’t find out #1’s sex but did for #2, so I’ve done both! I liked it both ways. With #1, I didn’t really care and wanted the surprise—but didn’t want all-pink clothes from a baby shower if it turned out to be a girl. With #2, the main motivation for finding out was knowing if we could get rid of a bunch of girl stuff if the baby turned out to be a boy! I was in a major purge mode. 😉

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